Tuesday, January 29, 2013

sub drop

I had a concerned email recently from C. After some introductory words she came to her problem,
Well to fast forward to my problem. I had my anus and vagina both severely stretched and fisted and was cropped and flogged in a session. My session lasted almost three hours and my beautiful Ma'am dismissed me to rest and to let herself rest too. At the time I didn't feel like I needed to rest. I was awake and hyper and excited and just happy in general. Less then an hour later I was so tired I thought someone smuggled rocks in my pocket and called it an early night.

The next day I was just very distracted. I had a hard time focusing on anything and just kept to myself, I felt very numb. I was freezing cold and not very hungry. I was very lonely. I never came down from playing so badly before. My poor Ma'am was busy the next day and un able to be with me but texted and called as much as she could. Unfortunately life happens. She is NOT irresponsible. Just neither of us expected such a response. This session was fairly mediocre in the sadism we normaly practice. I know the people in this community are very black and white with how a good Dom/me should behave. But no one is perfect and this is NOT abuse in our case. This is just bad luck.

Just in case I have a severe reaction again during play, is there a way I can implement after care to myself if Ma'am should have a delay in being with me?  She felt so terrible and she is a very good Domme and a career person and just amazing. If I don't have to be a source of pressure I would rather not be. She was called away on a very important family issue. I want to be able to be self maintained until she can come back to me so I am not a source of worry but pleasure for her. Thank you for your time.
Unfortunately this came to me before Christmas when I was also very distracted by serious personal developments so my responses have been a bit hurried and incomplete. Certainly I have not been able to give this problem the careful and thoughtful response that I would have liked. I have tried to put together here the essence of my reply
I would like to reassure you that what you have experienced is quite normal. What is often referred to as "sub drop" often occurs and can be delayed rather than happening straight away. You had a very intense experience and it is to be expected that you might have physical and psychological responses to it. Basically you were experiencing delayed shock.
I do hope that you are well and that you have not had any repeats of your unfortunate experience. You said that you often indulge in play that may be more extreme - "This session was fairly mediocre in the sadism we normaly practice." So perhaps it is worth trying to think about what might have been different in this session from usual.

You mentioned that immediately afterwards you were, "awake and hyper and excited and just happy in general" and that you did not need to rest even though that had been instructed by your Domme. You mentioned that she needed to rest also afterwards and left you to rest. I wonder perhaps if this might not be good practice. Even though you seemed really okay afterwards - helping you come down from this high and getting you settled is perhaps an integral part of the play and should be incorporated into future play. 
I am not being critical of you or your Domme - just trying to explore possibilities with you that you may be able to learn from. Even if this had happened it is quite possible that you might still have experienced the delayed "drop".
I of course accept your assurances that your Ma'am is very responsible. However you may both be able to learn from this experience and recognise the level of after-care that may be required and that it is not always just that necessary immediate after-care.
Good Luck!
I also found a few useful links to sub-drop to incorporate.

I am hoping that I may have readers who can speak of this though from their own experience and offer support and advice in comments below.


  1. I agree with the reaponse. Its very normal, but I believe aftercare should extend through the high and especially through the coming down part. Things you can do to help with sub drop: eat, exercise, and pamper yourself a bit. Exercise, in particular, can really help. Make sure you eat before and after a scene to help your body replenish.

  2. Thank you very much Kitty for taking the time to comment.

    It is great that you have come up with some really practical suggestions. I'm sure we can all learn from them.

    P xx

  3. I've just come across some interesting posts about aftercare here by ara. Do have a look at the link if you are interested in this topic.

  4. when it comes to aftercare, both Master Rick and me are needy. we often shower together, always sleep together and we try to set aside time everyday even if just 15 minutes, to be together. I think it helps us out a lot. as for being super energetic and hyper, Master Rick encourages me to walk my dog, Bruiser! sometimes Bruiser and me need the alone time exorcising to help us both wind down before bed. aftercare, now that I have given it thought, is very important to what W/we do.


Please ensure that all comments are helpful and supportive. Deliberately hurtful or abusive comments will be deleted.