Tuesday, February 19, 2013

breaking up and after care

I had a surprising email from a sub yesterday  She said that she and her Mistress had broken up. It was at her Mistresses instigation. However her Mistress was insisting on a six week period of after care.

The Mistress had to "repair" the submissive so that the sub would not be "dysfunctional". This involved a whole series of rituals as well as vanilla meetings. The submissive is going through with this even though she finds it a sadistic torture. She is doing it because she feels that her ex-Mistress needs it.

She asked me for some insight. Did I believe there needed to be a kinky rehabilitation after a dominant based relationship? What did I honestly think?

Well to be honest my first reaction was that it was bonkers.

However on further thought I wondered if the Mistress may have been trying to behave responsibly. D/s can involve a lot of conditioning. The sub is conditioned to behave and respond in certain ways. There can be deep psychological needs that are created within the D/s dynamic which can be all the stronger if reinforced though extreme BDSM play. Where this is the case then some additional support over and above that needed for the break up of a vanilla relationship might be appropriate. A kind of de-conditioning if you like.

Has anyone else come across this before? Or even been involved in it from either side. What do you think? Is it "bonkers" or a caring support to maintain a submissive's psychological health?

I would be fascinated to hear what you think.