Friday, July 9, 2010

A sub's misconceptions about Doms

I have had the following email from M. I wonder if others have more ideas about how to persuade his sub friend that Doms do have feelings and an ability to love - if you too believe that to be the case.

I'm a 40 year old black professional male. Married for ten years with two kids. The past couple of years however I've been yearning for more and have gone considerably to the D/s lifestyle.

As of now, I'm in the midst of a very powerful relationship (currently long-distance and online) in which things are progressing considerably. Since she is fairly young, she has what I believe are several misperceptions about the lifestyle. The biggest one is that Doms are devoid of feelings or don't have an ability to love.

I was wondering your thoughts about this.

Thanks in advance.


I wonder M if some of those misconceptions come from experience or just a misconception from the outside? But if she does believe that is the case then why would she want a relationship with a Dom unless she wishes to be used in an unfeeling way? There are subs who do crave such treatment.

However I am assuming that she does want a loving relationship with a Dom and needs reassurance that Doms are capable of such feeling and want to nurture and care for their sub.

In my own experience and those of other couples I know their D/s relationships are invariably loving. There is something about the commitment of D/s that provides a greater emotional intensity rather than a less emotional one.

I think if she were to read the comments by Doms on my Pygar - A Kind Dom blog she would recognise people who have genuine feelings and who care for and love their subs. Perhaps she might then follow on to read some of their blogs too. Though reading blogs by subs where they describe the nature of their relationships can also give a flavour of this.

Good luck to you both.