Friday, September 30, 2011

should I compromise for my husband?

I just received this email from signed loving who is in a Domestic Discipline relationship.

I have a question. My husband and I are fairly new to Domestic Discipline its going wonderfully for us and we couldn't be happier. There's just one thing my husband/master wants me to go to his family's house and his family and I have recently had a falling out. He said he wants to me to make up with them when I'm ready and doesn't want to push me on this BUT I feel like he is disappointed in me that I do not go around them. I do Not want this to hinder the bliss we have been having. Any advice? you can read more about my issues with them on my blog .. I have mentioned it some on there.
As I have no direct experience of Domestic Discipline my response was fairly general.
Hello signed loving

I'm afraid I'm not a experienced in Domestic Discipline but I think in all D/s situations we find what works right for us as a couple. A lot of it is about love and respect in both directions - and that will be the case in any relationship.

It is clearly upsetting to your husband that you have fallen out with his family and that you are not ready to go round to their house. It is clearly abig issue for you that you find making up so difficult. I think your husband is being very reasonable and understanding. He could just tell you to do it as he expects your obedience - however he has said he wants you to make up when you are ready and does not want to push you. It would be a shame if this got in the way of your blissful relationship. I think you could talk with him about how you feel and your fear that you are disappointing him and discuss ways in which you both might work together at resolving the situation with his family.

The longer you leave it though the more difficult it might be. It could be worth biting your tongue and going to them and apologising even if you know it was not your fault. You might be surprised by their response and get apologies in return. But you and he know the individuals best. Talk through how the situation can be resolved and try to deal with it quickly.

Good luck

Any thoughts? Perhaps if you too are in a DD relationship you may have another perspective.


  1. The above is a load of BS. You should not go anywhere near his family. They are obviously negative people impacting your life in a negative way. Sometimes it is best to separate ourselves from people who would make trouble in our lives. They are his family, not yours. You have to worry about your family. Not his.

  2. Thanks anonymous for your view.

    I have written a few more thoughts on this on my "Kind Dom" blog here.

    - P


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