Thursday, January 23, 2014

how to make a punishment more severe or effective

I received an interesting email recently - very different from the usual questions I am asked. LL finds that during a punishment beating her bottom soon starts to go numb which rather ruins the point of it. Here is her email which will explain. 
Dear Uncle Agony,

My husband of nearly 20 yrs and I have been pursuing DD and a D/s dynamic in our relationship for the past year.

In that time, we've progressed from very light paddles, a 5-gallon paint stick, a paddle-style hairbrush, & wooden spoons of varying weights & densities to a thin heavy plastic/rubbery stick, and his implement of choice - the poplar paddle (he's a carpenter. He's got a thing for wood 😏
). The paddle is 3"x12"x3/4" - not including the handle.

Our problem is that by the time a session gets uncomfortable enough to be effective punishment, I'm already beginning to go numb. He always does a warm-up (with the paint stick), and has developed the habit of taking a couple of breaks during a session to lecture & switch implements. Our most recent punishment session left me in a very dark place emotionally. It felt very much as if the session was cut off in the middle - there was no closure at all.

What recommendations can you make to help us make punishment more severe/effective? (I understand that severe & effective aren't always the same thing, but I believe that in this instance they are closely related.)  I feel that we may need to move on to a more severe implement. If so, what would that be? I've been wondering if a tawse or other fairly heavy leather implement would be more effective.

Any suggestions you have would be very much appreciated.


Here is my response.

Dear LL

I am not sure that spanking is my main area of expertise though I admit to enjoying giving spankings and beatings. My approach tends to be sensual rather than with the aim of inflicting maximum pain. However I am sure there will be readers of Uncle Agony who have the same approach as yourselves. In both approaches though the aim is to create, maintain and increase sensation. Numbness of course spoils the whole point.

So how best to maintain maximum sensation?

I wonder first if you might already be starting off a little harshly. Yes it needs to hurt - but the start is perhaps more to get the nerve endings sensitised so that they feel the later action more rather than less. So I suggest you start almost gently and build more slowly.

The other main point though that is most important is frequent long pauses with rubbing of the bottom and perhaps squeezing or even scratching it lightly. The pauses for stroking should be at least two to three minutes long. That may seem rather long and a waste of good spanking time. However I think you will find after each pause that the sensations are greater and there is less numbness.

You might also vary and alternate between different types of implement and experiment with using them in a different order. A lot of your instruments seem to be heavy and thuddy as opposed to light and whippy. A thin light cane can cause a very different pain from a heavy paddle. Each will have a different physical effect and there are dangers of different kind of damage. A heavy paddle can cause deep bruising yet a thin cane has more likelihood of breaking the skin. While it is of course nice to leave marks my personal preference is not to cause longer lasting damage. In any case the nature of Inès' work is such that she cannot have obvious and long lasting marks. A tawse, strap or belt gives a very different kind of sensation - also floggers and whips.

I hope this is of some help. However I am sure thre will be more expertise among my readers I hope we will get some more suggestions from my readers.

Good luck and happy spanking

So dear readers. Have you expertise in this area? Have I got it wrong? What would you suggest?


  1. Some advice for punishment... I hope it helps. (I totally meant to do this yesterday and forgot. apologies.)

    Beating me is not an effective punishment. I like it far too much. If I were spanked for my infractions it would just encourage me to misbehave.

    First is warming up slower, as Pygar suggested. Start with a hand rather than a tool. Resting between tools, and slowly graduating up to heavier implements. Flat, lightweight, wide things will deliver a mighty slap and cover a great deal of surface area. Heavier things will thud, again as Pygar said. Slender things are whippy, but can (and will) break skin.

    Sometimes, when my Daddy has been at my backside for an extended amount of time, he will put aloe on my skin during a break. It is a thick gel, and he takes his time rubbing it in. This stings. He has excellent timing and starts back up again before it's completely dry. It's like.. Thirty more seconds and I'd be totally dry. Sometimes during breaks he will lick, kiss, and bite gently at me. This is incredibly awesomely erotic and I enjoy it. The biting hurts, a lot. The licking, is again, to leave my flesh damp for when he starts up again. Your husband can skip the kissing part and just bite, and spread some saliva about before starting up again. This might be too intimate for what you seek however. Your husband can try moving where he spanks throughout the beating. The lower back should never, ever be hit. Dangerous. Can do internal damage. However, the backs of your thighs, the insides of your thighs, and your labia are all incredibly sensitive areas and can take a serious beating, and be accessed while in a prone position common to spanking. Alternatively the tops of your thighs and your mons, if changing positions is an acceptable option in the routine.

    The best suggestion I can think of is as follows.

    Closure might be achieved with additions to the punishment routine that do not involve spanking at all. Once your rump has gone numb, inform your husband. At this point he can make many choices for the punishment to continue. You can kneel before him, with no cushion, up off your heels, hands behind your head. If you are nude this puts you on display as well as becomes uncomfortable after a time and makes you vulnerable. This is a good time to deliver a lecture. He can require your spankings be delivered in a posture that is difficult to maintain without concentration. I spend most of mine over Daddy's lap balanced on my toes. It is up to me to maintain my balance, and if I fall out of his lap, that's my problem. Instead of over his lap or prone over furniture, he can deliver your spankings with you on your feet, bent at the waist, braced either on your knees or the floor. I suggest starting with a chair before trying anything else though. Balance is an issue and you don't want a broken nose. Just brace your hands on the chair with your elbows pointed outwards. Do not lock your knees, or elbows. The lower the item you are bracing with the more difficult it is. Your feet should be shoulder's width apart. Added difficulty with the aid of a piece of furniture to brace with is standing on tip toe.

    The goal of your punishment session is contrition. If a simple routine of spanking is not working because your nerves are shutting down and going into shock faster than you can reach your emotional goal, you need to do one of two or both of these things. Slow the nerves going into shock down by slowing down the intensity of the pain (this may not be possible, that is no fault, there is no blame. It just is.) and find alternative methods of punishment so you attain the emotional release you are seeking. Other methods of physical discomfort. Meaningless, tedious tasks that leave your mind free to contemplate your transgressions, followed by a lecture and a spanking. Physical pain is not your only option. It is the quickest, simplest option. But it is not the only one. You don't necessarily need to move to heavier implements. Doing so might defeat your purpose.

  2. Thank you very, very much Missus Whore for your excellent and comprehensive advice. You are clearly an expert in this area - most likely from personal experience. Thank you for sharing with us.

    P xx

  3. That is some very high praise, thank you Pygar. I just want to help, and experience is the best teacher! ;D

  4. For me, punishment is always worse when there is a psychological element involved. My worse punishments always had a physical and mental component, like guilt or being disappointed in myself. It never fails to leave me crying liking a baby and very, very sorry!

  5. Yes Betsy T - I think when it comes to punishment the psychological element can be the most effective.


    P xx

  6. Do you know anything about self spanking? And how to make it harder?

  7. I agree with the comments about a slow build-up and use of lighter, stingier instruments rather than heavy, thuddy ones. When I am spanked I appreciate breaks and rubbing because they make the session last lots longer. A hand warm-up is important, as is mixing hand spanking whenever an instrument is used. The hand forms to the butt skin differently and awakens different nerve endings. Also, mixing in a tawse can help. I prefer to be immobilized when I am spanked because it increases the sense of impact. If I can move, a lot of the energy goes into moving me, rather into my butt. Being bent over a table or a piece of furniture works quite well.

  8. Ooops - I missed the comment from Anonymous-1 about self spanking. Sorry about that.

    Further apologies as I have no knowledge or experience of self spanking. Any readers out there with thoughts about this?


  9. Thank you Anonymous-2 for your further suggestions on this topic from your personal experience. They sound very helpful.

    P xx

  10. I can take a very severe spanking, and I absolutely agree with what was said about a slow build-up, hand spanking first, light instruments rather than thuddy ones, and breaks in the spanking to let the nerves recover. I've also found that a longer anticipation period before the actual spanking begins adds to the ability to take it. My mind seems to be able to compose itself and handle more pain when my spanker doesn't rush into it. It also seems to make a difference if I don't know how long it will last.

    1. Thank you Anonymous for your thughts on this and what works for you. I am sorry that I missed your comment initially.


  11. Before the spanking rub layers and layers of tripple moisturizing lotion. Than just tap and tap the implement while the anticipation builds, not knowing when the first whack is going to be and knowing it will start any second.

    Use thinner stingy implements, try using the flat part of the handle of a bamboo backscatter.

    Eliminate any kind of warm up, start the spanking with shock and awe beginning. Instantaneously fast and furious, absolutely no warm up. Go from zero to rapid fire as instantly as possible.

    Go nonstop for a really long time and cover entire backside from the top of the cheeks to half way down the back of the thighs. Dont stop when you she starts crying that's when it starts continue the spanking for a real long time while she sobbing, bawling and beyond her ability to make words.

    Believe me that make it more memorable, more painful and more severe.

    1. Thank you Anonymous. Indeed I can imagine that would definitely make it severe!



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