Thursday, September 10, 2015

starting anew

In an earlier post, She only wants an online relationship ... can it work? Graham wrote about his doubts about making an online relationship work. I head from him later that he hand his girl had sadly split up. He wrote,
I'm afraid this story does not have a happy ending.
While both of us love each other, we were not able to reconcile the physicality aspect.
I wanted and needed to express that part of me and she did not. Ultimately, she chose that path because she did not want the risk nor to be the cause of any hurt to others. She said she just doesn't need it
I am terribly sad - even devastated to think I lost the girl I loved so deeply.
She told me just to go find the girl who will fulfill my needs
Not so simple, and not something I truly want in my heart
I love and want her. Not something I can turn on and off like a switch
Then I received another email from him. It seems he and his girl are back together and trying to make it work,
Pygar and Baby Girl
I find myself in new territory and I would appreciate your thoughts about this.
Both my "old" girl and I are totally miserable over the concept of moving on and not being together. We both don't want it, but some damage has occurred.
We actually are discussing what we might be able to do to reconcile the differences between what I want and want she is willing to do.
Afterall, we do love each other and we want to be together.
The discussion are very open and frank, and center on the "more I want and need" and her feeling totally comfortable and safe, along with some guilt because she doesn't want to hurt her husband in any way.
Whether this can result in something that works for us remains to be seen and any advise and opinion you can offer will be greatly appreciated.....
because as you know I want us to work.
the interesting issue is if we can "reconcile" - how do we get totally back into our routine. I shook her confidence and created huge uncertainly by saying it was time to move on.
I have never been in a relationship where this occurred and then got back into it.
She most likely will always wonder why I ended it..........and will be cautious and reserved. im not sure if there is anything I can say or do to remove the uncertainly which is plaguing her.
How do we return to the total dynamic we had..........and if we do "more" - she might resent her way of staying in this..even though she didn't want it to go there initially.
how does she totally love without reservation - be totally obedient.....after all this?
Can you get back into this..........?
Well ... I'm really not sure. Has the nreak up totally destroyd the dynamic? Can Graham and his girl make it work? Can they start afresh? I am sure he would welcome any thoughts and advice that readers may have.

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