Wednesday, December 17, 2014

letting go ...

Bitch wrote a comment on an old post here on A Kind Dom. It was,
"You can call me Bitch. :) I long to remain submissive, but sometimes I can't seen to keep my mouth shut when Master says to. I'm terrified of disappointing him, but I'm so strong willed. I've always had this part of me that longed to be dominated, but I'm also a person who is in control of my life. Balancing what I want in the bedroom and who I am outside the bedroom is difficult. I need advice on how to "let go" and be a good little Bitch. Thank you."
How does one find that balance if one is strong? She is in control yet yearns to be a good submissive and not disappoint her Master. How can she "let go" and truly become a "good little Bitch"? Have any of you had this struggle? How did you resolve it?

7 comments:

  1. Aren't we all strong-willed? :D

    It's about surrendering, to what they want, not how we think it should be. It takes time, loads of patience, on both sides, but as the walls we want to hide behind crumble -- it's very freeing.

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    1. I love when the walls crumble and I'm free. It's very liberating.

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  2. Yes mouse. I think you are right that it takes time and patience. I am sure Bitch will get there in the end.

    Most of the subs I know are also "strong-willed"! I do like your description of it being freeing "as the walls we want to hide behind crumble."

    Thank you

    P xx

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  3. It will take time. Also, it takes a lot of trust. We often say "we trust" but when we look deeper the trust to "let go" is not there.

    Ask yourself why you can't let go. For example, when we first started D/s (though had already been sleeping together) He made it known that gagging will be required in order to work on the deep throat skills. I tried and couldn't do it. The moment I gag I pulled away. He wasn't happy. I wanted to let go but couldn't. Afterwards, I knew why. What if I threw up on Him? What if I did xyz, etc. My fear was how would He respond if my body reacted that left me horrified and embarrassed. Would He still want me? I told Him my concern. We discussed it and He let me know He expects it to happen a time or two but He loves the feel of my throat. The next time I pushed myself and yes, I did puke. I went rushing to the bathroom. I got in trouble because I didn't trust Him. And was promptly told to continue sucking and puke on Him, if need be, as He was already prepared with a towel. He encouraged me through it. He praised me for letting go. He let known how much He enjoyed my throat. And since then I've been able to push myself more and learn to deep throat the way He enjoys.

    There are other times where I realized the trust stopped me. A fear of "what if xyz happens" hinders me. I often will research to see how others handle it and ultimately share with Him what causes the mind block. He then is aware of the deeper issue and slowly helps me let go by various tasks and gestures that prove I can trust Him.

    I'm a control freak. I completely understand your struggle. The good part is you know you want to let go, you know you want to please, and you know you are stubborn. Now, it's time to talk to Him on what is your true end goal and obstacles that are blocking it.

    I feel letting go and trust go hand in hand.

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    1. Thank you His slut for the thoughtful and open response. I think it is good to give examples of what such letting go might mean in practice.

      Yes - letting go and trust. We speak so much about trust but again in practice that can be difficult.

      Good luck

      P xx

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  4. This is a constant struggle, especially when there are so many other thoughts creeping into your head - real life ones. I find restraint and being blindfolded helps. Ultimately though I think it is about trust and allowing Him to take that control, bit by bit. Patience is the thing, as others have said.

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    1. It is interesting julie that you find restraint and blindfolds help you. Perhaps accepting those is a commitment to total trust which allows that control and respective submission.

      Good luck with your patience!

      P xx

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