Dear Uncle Agony,Here is my response.
My husband of nearly 20 yrs and I have been pursuing DD and a D/s dynamic in our relationship for the past year.
In that time, we've progressed from very light paddles, a 5-gallon paint stick, a paddle-style hairbrush, & wooden spoons of varying weights & densities to a thin heavy plastic/rubbery stick, and his implement of choice - the poplar paddle (he's a carpenter. He's got a thing for wood 😏). The paddle is 3"x12"x3/4" - not including the handle.
Our problem is that by the time a session gets uncomfortable enough to be effective punishment, I'm already beginning to go numb. He always does a warm-up (with the paint stick), and has developed the habit of taking a couple of breaks during a session to lecture & switch implements. Our most recent punishment session left me in a very dark place emotionally. It felt very much as if the session was cut off in the middle - there was no closure at all.
What recommendations can you make to help us make punishment more severe/effective? (I understand that severe & effective aren't always the same thing, but I believe that in this instance they are closely related.) I feel that we may need to move on to a more severe implement. If so, what would that be? I've been wondering if a tawse or other fairly heavy leather implement would be more effective.
Any suggestions you have would be very much appreciated.
Dear LLSo dear readers. Have you expertise in this area? Have I got it wrong? What would you suggest?
I am not sure that spanking is my main area of expertise though I admit to enjoying giving spankings and beatings. My approach tends to be sensual rather than with the aim of inflicting maximum pain. However I am sure there will be readers of Uncle Agony who have the same approach as yourselves. In both approaches though the aim is to create, maintain and increase sensation. Numbness of course spoils the whole point.
So how best to maintain maximum sensation?
I wonder first if you might already be starting off a little harshly. Yes it needs to hurt - but the start is perhaps more to get the nerve endings sensitised so that they feel the later action more rather than less. So I suggest you start almost gently and build more slowly.
The other main point though that is most important is frequent long pauses with rubbing of the bottom and perhaps squeezing or even scratching it lightly. The pauses for stroking should be at least two to three minutes long. That may seem rather long and a waste of good spanking time. However I think you will find after each pause that the sensations are greater and there is less numbness.
You might also vary and alternate between different types of implement and experiment with using them in a different order. A lot of your instruments seem to be heavy and thuddy as opposed to light and whippy. A thin light cane can cause a very different pain from a heavy paddle. Each will have a different physical effect and there are dangers of different kind of damage. A heavy paddle can cause deep bruising yet a thin cane has more likelihood of breaking the skin. While it is of course nice to leave marks my personal preference is not to cause longer lasting damage. In any case the nature of Inès' work is such that she cannot have obvious and long lasting marks. A tawse, strap or belt gives a very different kind of sensation - also floggers and whips.
I hope this is of some help. However I am sure thre will be more expertise among my readers I hope we will get some more suggestions from my readers.
Good luck and happy spanking