tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8022929989646932055.post4967161423179957065..comments2023-10-23T22:26:59.110+01:00Comments on Uncle Agony: punishmentPygarhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11913556740445196578noreply@blogger.comBlogger13125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8022929989646932055.post-28006734694181906302011-07-31T20:32:37.595+01:002011-07-31T20:32:37.595+01:00Thanks Pygar for posting this, and thank you all f...Thanks Pygar for posting this, and thank you all for all the great replies! Have had a bit of a busy week, so first got to read it fully now!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8022929989646932055.post-21359796083318794742011-07-27T00:46:02.586+01:002011-07-27T00:46:02.586+01:00blossom: i agree -ignoring has NO place in LDR'...blossom: i agree -ignoring has NO place in LDR's, they are fragile enough as it is! In presence though i can see it work, bot only like i stated earlier, for short times and with the Dominant actually there -like for example not being allowed to speak at the dinner table, or not being allowed to sit beside or speak with the Dominant whilst watching TV...something like that.<br />If my Dom would ignore me for days in punishment it would cut me so so deep -it's difficult enough when contact is severed for circumstances out of our control!<br /><br />And just like SubRosaNoMore wrote: the biggest punishment is knowing that you did wrong, that you disappointed them. The physical punishment is as so often discussed more to repent, to feel the due's been paid and that it is dealt with, over and done. Usually our Sir's forgive and forget much sooner than we do ourselves.<br /><br />Ok...i'll leae the word to someone else now *LOL*Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06962358426978378748noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8022929989646932055.post-40689237475746515082011-07-27T00:07:37.672+01:002011-07-27T00:07:37.672+01:00Thank you blossom. I know it has often been said t...Thank you blossom. I know it has often been said that being ignored can be the most hurtful of punishments.Pygarhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11913556740445196578noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8022929989646932055.post-18665627211788296472011-07-26T23:51:23.506+01:002011-07-26T23:51:23.506+01:00i cant say anymore than what has already been said...i cant say anymore than what has already been said, there are so many different forms of punishment that can be used that are just as effective as physical punishment. For me punishment was knowing i upset or annoyed my previous dom, i didnt like letting him down or feel that i had failed him so my punishment was usually no communication at times for a few days, i found this type of punishment hard to accept and would get quite upset given we had a long distance relationship. i would have preferred other types of punishment like the ones suggested above or physical punishment.blossomhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18233213834265183615noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8022929989646932055.post-54454028683963863012011-07-26T23:34:41.886+01:002011-07-26T23:34:41.886+01:00Thank you all. There are some wonderful contributi...Thank you all. There are some wonderful contributions here. Some very important such as David's statement endorsed by Sweet girl that, "<i>A dom should always make it clear that it is the behavior that is undesirable and not the person.</i>"<br /><br />I am pleased too that Sweet girl and David have mentioned the difference in mind set between a punishment and more pleasurable spankings. I know how many submissives fee this deeply - and Doms too.<br /><br />Thank you too Alice for reinforcing all this from your personal perspective.<br /><br />However, I felt myself drawn more and more to the power of SubRosaNoMore's comment. Perhaps especially the final paragraph.<br /><br />Thank you all (really <b>all</b> of you) for such wonderfully open, honest and thoughtful contributions.<br /><br />I hope that ponderouspet has found them as illuminating as I have done.<br /><br />P xxPygarhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11913556740445196578noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8022929989646932055.post-59198337419187686942011-07-25T22:27:23.622+01:002011-07-25T22:27:23.622+01:00As I read the letter above, I thought of my father...As I read the letter above, I thought of my father. He was the first dominant in my life and he only used corporal punishment once (and that was a single slap). He had been beaten as a child and was determined not to go down that path with me and my siblings.<br /><br />His approach to discipline was very straight forward and very effective. He set very clear expectations and also let us know very clearly what qualified as an infraction and how disappointed he would be if we had to "go there." For example, we had to come home on time. Arriving early was fine. Being one minute late was as bad as being an hour late. I lived to hear praise from his lips so I was certainly motivated to avoid incurring his displeasure.<br /><br />On the rare occasion when an infraction did occur, I was sent to my room, where I waited and wondered how much trouble I was in. The waiting was awful. I hated it. I hated knowing he was disappointed in me. I would berate my own foolishness and think of how I might redeem myself.<br /><br />When he appeared, I'd usually be a wreck and tearful, the apologies rolling off my tongue. He would give me a hug and sit beside me and ask me what I'd do different next time. We rarely had a repeat of an issue.<br /><br />His lessons had a lasting impact too. Even as a young adult home for a visit, I would still ask him what time he wanted me home at night, just like I did as a teenager, because his peace of mind was still more important that what I had planned with my friends. I can still remember the smile he would give me as I kissed his cheek and whispered my question in his ear. And I was always (and I mean always) home on time.<br /><br />Punishment is relative it is something you wish to avoid. And like Pygar says, just knowing you've displeasured your dominant is often enough. I know it was for me.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8022929989646932055.post-76475967571046727202011-07-25T21:00:48.723+01:002011-07-25T21:00:48.723+01:00I agree with everything Sweet girl said, and also ...I agree with everything Sweet girl said, and also with David about lectures.<br /><br />It is all about finding what works for you. Sometimes just knowing I've displeased Chess is enough punishment. Often a lecture is all that is needed. Most of the time if there is physical punishment it is because Chess feels it is necessary, and is more for reinforcement than actual punishment, if that makes sense. Spankings are pleasurable to me because I like pain, however, when I know I am being spanked because I've done something wrong I cannot find pleasure in it. It's all about the mindset.<br /><br />Again, just reiterating what has already been said, punishment can come in all forms. Even with physical punishment, and ignoring off the table, there are many other effective tools.<br /><br />Also, I agree with you, Ponderouspet, I think "ignoring" can be very damaging emotionally and mentally, but again it depends on the individual.Alicehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02108863768139755111noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8022929989646932055.post-43658905214652602932011-07-25T20:03:58.814+01:002011-07-25T20:03:58.814+01:00"One of the most effective I think is a serio...<i> "One of the most effective I think is a serious, matter of fact lecture on the problem, emphasizing your love for the submissive but making clear that you are disappointed in the behavior.<br /><br />A dom should always make it clear that it is the behavior that is undesirable and not the person." </i> -thank you David for adding that vital point!Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06962358426978378748noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8022929989646932055.post-87501621708242204652011-07-25T16:56:09.618+01:002011-07-25T16:56:09.618+01:00It is interesting, after posting this, I read the ...It is interesting, after posting this, I read the following, it is interesting how the same topic seems to spin around a number of blogs simultaneously.<br /><br />http://bdsm-sexperts.blogspot.com/2011/07/when-punishment-brings-restoration.htmlDavidhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04943867226010869367noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8022929989646932055.post-70265235483733875432011-07-25T16:36:46.512+01:002011-07-25T16:36:46.512+01:00As sweet girl says, there are spankings and there ...As sweet girl says, there are spankings and there are spankings. A punishment spanking can be given in an abrupt, harsh, no non-sense way that discourages taking pleasure in the physical sensations. Having said that, when a correction is needed, there are a wide variety of methods of focusing the submissive's attention.<br /><br />Ignoring, writing assignments, additional chores, taking away pleasurable activities, and the list goes on. One of the most effective I think is a serious, matter of fact lecture on the problem, emphasizing your love for the submissive but making clear that you are disappointed in the behavior.<br /><br />A dom should always make it clear that it is the behavior that is undesirable and not the person.Davidhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04943867226010869367noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8022929989646932055.post-36782703076986346592011-07-25T16:12:36.152+01:002011-07-25T16:12:36.152+01:00I was wondering the same thing, how to differente ...I was wondering the same thing, how to differente between being punished and being spanked for enjoyment. <br /><br />Sweet girl, you helped me with your thoughts on not processing the pain to turn it into pleasure. Thank you.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8022929989646932055.post-164082013855683672011-07-25T13:37:24.323+01:002011-07-25T13:37:24.323+01:00or having something you really like/enjoy taken a...or having something you really like/enjoy <b> taken away </b> for a certain amount of time it should of course have said!Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06962358426978378748noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8022929989646932055.post-83344373358592823942011-07-25T13:34:53.455+01:002011-07-25T13:34:53.455+01:00ponderouspet: Hi! I think I can see you issue -how...ponderouspet: Hi! I think I can see you issue -however I do get punished with pain eventhough I am a painslut. There's a difference between pain and pain. Pain as punishment is not pleasurable, and I think this is mainly my own doing, in the way that I do not use processing techniques in receiving this pain, thus not converting it into pleasure.<br />But if you don't find this working for you, or appropriate, then there are other options. Like Pygar said the "ignoring" effect can be immense -but a lot of people have issues with this too. Myself I think that this in a monitored environment can be of good effect, i e not being left alone in uncertainty but more like a child being sent to their room (that could be another way too!), or maybe sitting in a corner facing the wall being made to think about what you have done -and why. Maybe a written assignment where you analyse why you do this (if it's an offence that is repeated)or just something that reinforces your feeling of submission and your role.<br />Restrictions work too, like cut computer time or extra chores or having something you really like/enjoy for a certain amount of time. The options are endless really, the difficult part is finding what works for just you.<br />I hope I have helped in some way.<br />Good luck!<br />/Sweet girl.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06962358426978378748noreply@blogger.com