tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8022929989646932055.post2404459927974372000..comments2023-10-23T22:26:59.110+01:00Comments on Uncle Agony: so lostPygarhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11913556740445196578noreply@blogger.comBlogger6125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8022929989646932055.post-81486317120066836622016-05-08T14:16:12.666+01:002016-05-08T14:16:12.666+01:00"These days, despite extensive efforts at ree...<i>"These days, despite extensive efforts at reeducation, many women still crave the feel a dominant male's hand firmly planted right where they sit down."</i><br /><br />Interestingly too, many men crave the need of a dominant female's hand spanking them...<br /><br />There are many male submissives and female dominants. Pygarhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11913556740445196578noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8022929989646932055.post-3142446413705373102016-05-03T06:19:31.973+01:002016-05-03T06:19:31.973+01:00I had wondered if you had heard anything further f...I had wondered if you had heard anything further from Janet. <br /><br />One of the tragedies of the women's liberation movement is that empowering women to explore their own sexuality also tended to neuter traditional male dominance. Consequently, as seems to be the case with Janet, her boyfriend is playing the part of Johnny in the old Joanie Sommers' single hit recording of "Johnny Get Angry." <br /><br />The song describes teenager's attempts to provoke her boyfriend into becoming the dominant partner. She starts by telling him in so many words to get lost. Then, she dances with another boy. On both occasions, much to the displeasure of the lyricist, Johnny reacts passively. <br /><br />Two verses in the "Johnny Get Angry" lyrics are particularly revealing when it comes to understanding a woman's thought processes.<br /><br />First, the chorus goes: <br /><br />"Oh, Johnny get angry, Johnny get mad<br />Give me the biggest lecture I ever had<br />I want a brave man, I want a cave man<br />Johnny, show me that you care, really care for me"<br /><br />Then, the last verse says: <br /><br />"Every girl wants someone who<br />She can always look up to<br />You know I love you, of course<br />Let me know that you're the boss"<br /><br />Even thought today's culture has changed superficially to give women more options, thousands of years of human evolution has hardwired most women to expect male dominance. As the lyrics above point out, "Every girl wants someone who She can always look up to." <br /><br />Women tend to be more secure in knowing the man is "boss." Likewise, women expect provoked men to be "angry" and to get "mad." <br /><br />More interestingly, reading between the lines of the lyrics in the context of a pre-Sexual Revolution culture given to euphemisms, "Give me the biggest lecture I ever had" could be taken to be more than just scolding. <br /><br />Words like "lecture" ("Trust me, I'm going to give that girl a good lecture just as soon as I get her home.") or "talk" ("That girl's going to get a good talking to on both ends of her anatomy!") sometimes meant a "girl," as women were often called in the 1950s and early 1960s, could expect to be verbally rebuked before having her bare bottom soundly spanked. <br /><br />For their day, the "Johnny Get Angry" lyrics weren't all that different from the later "Laverne & Shirley" episode where "Vo-de-o-do-do" was used to get around prohibitions on even indirect sexual references on family hour television. Much like most adults in the late 1970s and early 1980s knew Laverne and Shirley were discussing sex, so a lot of listeners in the early 1960s would have translated the lyrics of "Johnny Get Angry" as meaning the singer wouldn't mind if Johnny told her off and then spanked her to let her know he cared! <br /><br />These days, despite extensive efforts at reeducation, many women still crave the feel a dominant male's hand firmly planted right where they sit down. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8022929989646932055.post-12348293246625097622016-05-02T12:58:28.196+01:002016-05-02T12:58:28.196+01:00Thanks again Anonymous.
I certainly agree that Ja...Thanks again Anonymous.<br /><br />I certainly agree that Janet should pursue every avenue to try to resolve the current situation with her boyfriend. I am sure that is what she desires too. However she is realistic in recognising that in the long term that could leave her very frustrated and unfulfilled if the relationship does not develop and change.<br /><br />I have not heard from her recently so I hope things are developing positively for her.<br /><br />PPygarhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11913556740445196578noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8022929989646932055.post-11316685835683319522016-05-02T11:04:02.655+01:002016-05-02T11:04:02.655+01:00As previously pointed out, while rejection is poss...As previously pointed out, while rejection is possible, the first option is intended to circumvent today's typical male reluctance to spank by substituting the woman's initiative for that of the male. It is, quite frankly, a form of seduction previously exploited by women seeking male attention. <br /><br />One analogy might be likening to serving a hungry man a prepared meal. If he really wants her, he'll take her up on her offer. <br /><br />Essentially, Janet's disrobing and positioning herself over his lap with her ass presented is the sexual equivalent of her laying supine on a mattress with all her clothes off, and her legs spread high and wide. Only an absolute dunce wouldn't know what she expects to be done. Any man able to get it up for sex, is most certainly able to raise his hand high enough to administer a spanking!!! <br /><br />Although guilt is a ubiquitous female phenomenon, a more relevant problem for Janet seems to be an inability to keep her sexual escapades private. At the same time, while Janet says she still loves her boyfriend, she seems to have lost respect for him. This might very well mitigate any guilt on her part since it already justifies her seeking other outlets for her sexual energies. <br /><br />The situation is such that any guilt will most likely emerge at some future date. If this happens, it can be handled by a future boyfriend or husband. <br /><br />As things currently stand, Janet is caught in a triangle. On one side, there are her problems. There are her boyfriend's problems. Then, there are their problems together. <br /><br />If we expand the above analysis, we can include the counselor's problems (and they have them) along with the problems of whomever else she chooses to establish a secondary relationship. Thus, she may find herself in the middle of a boxy or psychological pentagon. In time, rather obviously, the problems can become overwhelming. <br /><br />Many of the foregoing complexities can be avoided if Janet can resolve her current difficulties with her current boyfriend. In the end, whether she leaves him or stays with him, Janet must pursue every reasonable remedy with her current boyfriend before she is even remotely prepared to move on. Right now, as evidenced by her bewilderment, Janet is nowhere near ready to start another relationship. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8022929989646932055.post-89515075752298202102016-05-01T15:51:12.147+01:002016-05-01T15:51:12.147+01:00Thank you Anonymous for your thoughtful analysis o...Thank you Anonymous for your thoughtful analysis of Janet's problem. <br /><br />Regarding your first solution - I wonder if her boyfriend would spank her? Perhaps that might be part of the issues.<br /><br />Your suggestion about a second secret life is interesting but I get the impression from that it would cause too much guilt for her. There have been recent discussions on <a href="http://xpygarx.blogspot.co.uk/" rel="nofollow">A Kind Dom</a> about guilt. Also a couple of years ago there was an interesting discussion there about double lives. You can read it <a href="http://xpygarx.blogspot.co.uk/2014/04/double-lives.html" rel="nofollow">here</a>.<br /><br />The third option of moving out is of course always there but as you suggest, <i>"...she may very well face the same challenges in her next relationship that she has in her current one."</i><br /><br />Thanks for taking the time to comment.<br /><br />P<br /><br />Pygarhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11913556740445196578noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8022929989646932055.post-72239987506201268672016-05-01T08:26:03.040+01:002016-05-01T08:26:03.040+01:00The problem described by Janet is relatively commo...The problem described by Janet is relatively common. She has lost respect for her boyfriend. Meanwhile, although he has withdrawn into his man cave, Janet's boyfriend is unwilling to let go. <br /><br />Janet's relationship with her boyfriend can be illustrated by drawing a stick figure with one leg considerably shorter than the other. The shorter leg, of course, is Janet's commitment and interest in maintaining the status quo at this point relative to that of her boyfriend. Janet is in a crippled relationship that, in the absence of some miracle, counseling is unlikely to make whole again. <br /><br />By moving in polyamorous and polysexual circles, Janet has told her boyfriend that if he can't fulfill her needs, she will find someone able to do so. <br /><br />That there is no mention of previous polyamorous and polysexual encounters suggests this alternative is more a product of Janet's "feel[ing] trapped and restrained" in her current circumstances than any predisposition. <br /><br />Sexting is merely an electronic version of what used to be called dirty talk. Both are ways of discovering who is interested in sexually doing what. Her use of the term "Master" suggests Janet is looking for a man she can respect. She may even have an interest in being disciplined. <br /><br />Given the above, there may be three ways to proceed. None involves initially trying to talk out the problems. Nor do they require a counselor. <br /><br />First, Janet is really interest in preserving her relationship with her boyfriend, she can take off ever stitch of her cloths, approach her boyfriend while he is seat on a couch, and put herself over his lap. She should plainly tell him that if he wants to keep her, he needs spank her until he has worked out all of his frustrations. By that time, she will either hate her boyfriend or she will respect him. <br /><br />While there is the risk of being initially rejected, a handful of wives recommending this approach claim it greatly improved their marriages. I've recommended in a couple times to young wives. Thus far, I've received no negative feedback. <br /><br />Given what I know, this approach might actually do both Janet and her boyfriend some good because spanking a women clears the air in a relationship. As a result, once they calm down, couples are better able to listen to each other. <br /><br />Second is for Janet to have a secret life apart from that of her boyfriend. Typically, as Janet has already discovered, this is fraught with risks of being discovered. Besides, despite initial appearances, the grass is not always greener on the other side of the fence. <br /><br />Third, assuming Janet see no future in the relationship with her boyfriend, she can pack up and move out. Utilizing this option, she is then free to explore whatever options appeal to her without being concerned with her boyfriend. <br /><br />However, while this option gets the boyfriend out of the picture, it does nothing to discard the difficulties Janet contributed to the relationship. Janet will carry those with her. AS a result, she may very well face the same challenges in her next relationship that she has in her current one.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com